your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
