If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
