My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's like iHOP with fire
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
