How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
