There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
