I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
