super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
