Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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