He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
