Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
