the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
