my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Will you blow on my dice?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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