it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
