Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Please don't give away my fajitas
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
