they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
