you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
