why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
