we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
