it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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