So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
