ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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