Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
