jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
