So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
