glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
