If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
