I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
