Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
