my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
