I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
