We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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