I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
be right there i have to get my cape
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
