You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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