u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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