would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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