Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
