I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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