dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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