I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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