The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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