OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
