This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
