He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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