The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found puke in my bra..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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