Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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