My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
