The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
