6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
