I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
