careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
