OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
