sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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